Still in the running

I heard from T, and apparently the twin PBM had a death in the family, so that's why she didn't hear back for such a long time. T spoke to the PBM's friend, and the friend said that the PBM hadn't even looked at the other profiles yet, so T sent ours as well. The friend also said the PBM is struggling financially and T reminded her that if she matches then she will get expenses paid, so hopefully she will make a decision this week. The good news is there are only two other families, and I am pretty sure we are the only one in Texas. Since she wants a pretty open adoption we are hoping that us being nearby will help us to be chosen.

We did find out it is two boys, one for sure and the other probable. I have to admit I was really hoping for boy/girl twins, because I do want a little girl. But I will be thrilled if we get chosen!

The twin situation

I called T last Thursday and said we wanted to be submitted for the twins, and didn't hear back. I followed up with a phone message on Friday and still nothing, so I assumed we had been submitted. On Monday, T's assistant emailed me asking for more profiles. I told her I'd get them, and asked about the twins. Well, imagine my shock on Tuesday when I got a response saying we were too late! I talked with T later and it turns out I misunderstood her. I thought I had until Friday to make a decision, and she ended up getting profiles on Wednesday and sent them out, so ours was not included. I was devastated, I had psyched myself up so much for this and was just heartsick to learn we didn't even get presented. She was planning to call the PBM on Tuesday and see how she was doing, and if she hadn't chosen anyone she would send our profile. She said she would call or email me after she heard from the PBM and still nothing, so I still don't know what's going on. I emailed her this morning. Sigh.

And T was in a bad mood when I talked to her. She was very defensive with me and wanted to make it clear that she didn't do anything "wrong" and that it was all on me. She said initially she sent profiles on Wednesday and Thursday to the PBM, and I said "if you sent some on Thursday why wasn't mine included?" She then told me she didn't appreciate me being all "snippy" with her. WTF? I was just asking a question and I was very upset, fighting off tears at that moment. I certainly don't think I was being snippy.

We also had another situation in Florida (this is the one due next week), but we didn't get chosen. I felt weird about the situation from the beginning, it wasn't through T but a friend's agency, but it just didn't feel right to me. So it worked out for the best that she chose another couple. I also sent an application and some profiles to Mother Goose, after a friend on the boards let me know they had some biracial situations available. They also had two twin situations but one got matched and the other decided to parent. We have one profile submitted and another should go out next week when they return from Spring Break (have you ever heard of an adoption agency taking Spring Break?).

My "Infertility Sucks" t-shirt

I have this t-shirt that says "Infertility Sucks" and has a frowny face on it. It is similar to this one (I bought it from Cafe Press but they don't have the exact style any longer). I wore it in Tampa last weekend when we were flying home, and here are the reactions I got:

1. Some women on the tram to the terminal noticed it, and quickly looked away and didn't make eye contact with me. Somehow I'm thinking they're fertiles.
2. I was boarding the plane, and this guy in first class busted out laughing when I walked by. I said "what?" and he said "I love your t-shirt". Probably the male half of an infertile couple.
3. The stewardess asked me to explain my shirt to her, and I did. She used to be a foster mother, and told me to hang in there and that I would get my baby. She has twin grandchildren (the implication was IVF babies) and she proudly showed me their photos.

Would you adopt twins?

T called me last week with a twin pregnancy situation. The PBM is in San Antonio and she wants a pretty open adoption with a Texas couple. The babies are Hispanic/Black, and I am waiting to find out if she knows their genders or not. They are due in June. At first we said no immediately, but then I couldn't get the thought out of my mind. So I called her and talked to her about it, and then David and I had a long discussion and did some research, talking to other twin parents and looking at our finances.

We were willing to accept twins during IVF, so it shouldn't be that hard of a decision. Yet, somehow deliberately choosing to adopt twins seemed like a big deal. It is a big deal. But how wonderful it would be! We could fulfill our dream of having two children while I am still under 40. The children would be biological siblings, which is absolutely fantastic. And we'd only have to pay for one adoption and not two. I know it will be hard at first, but all the twin moms say once you make it past the first 6 months to a year, it's wonderful because they have each other. My friends who are twins said they loved having a twin and that it was really special. So, we told T to submit our profile, and we will see what happens.

We also have three other situations we're being presented for, through agencies that my friends pointed me to. One is due at the end of March, and two in June. One of the agencies also has two twin pregnancies and we're going to consider those as well. Crazy, huh?

Still waiting for our baby

Well, we didn't get chosen. It's a little disappointing because the odds were so good; this is the second time we've been one of two couples and not chosen. She said there was nothing she didn't like about our profile, so that is good to know. So now we wait again. T had another baby due in May that we can be considered for, so I'm waiting to hear from her if she is starting to submit profiles or not. A friend also got me a couple of leads through her agency so I am waiting to hear back from them to see if either is possible for us.

We are going to Tampa this weekend for a friend's wedding (and she is pregnant, only two months off the Pill, grrrrr). I will see my sister, and luckily my dad and stepmom will be down visiting my sister so I get to see them too. The pups are going to stay with a coworker of David's and we went over and met his dog last night. I think I might need a Sheltie for my small dog!

My EDD is today

It's strange to think I would be 40 weeks pregnant right now. Maybe I'd even already have a baby, or be about to give birth. Who knows. Yet somehow, knowing that my baby is probably in utero somewhere, the uterus of a woman that I don't know yet, is very comforting. Our profile is out for a situation due at the end of April/early May, and there is only one other couple who will be considered. And they even may not want to submit theirs, for reasons I won't go into here. But I like those odds, and hopefully this potential birth mother will like us. I can't wait for that phone call telling me we've been matched!