And the plot thickens ...

We had a rather shocking turn of events, and are trying to figure out if we should walk away or not. My lawyer went to see the pbdad and get him to sign. Well, imagine her surprise when he says that he's not the father! He says he was only with M a couple of times and she told him she was already pregnant with somebody named Carlos' baby. He is willing to do a paternity test, and if he is the father, he thinks he will probably sign but he would want letters and photos. He also said that M is a crazy bitch and he does not want her to raise the baby. He says she coerced him into agreeing to sign as the father, and that she told him she was only doing it to get a free place to live. And he says that he never met us.

The lawyer then confronted M about the lie that this guy was the dad. She maintains firmly he is the father, she is sure, and she doesn't know anyone named Carlos. M then called me (I had not spoken to the lawyer at this point) and left two panicked messages (I was in a meeting) telling me anything he said wasn't true, and she wanted to place this baby, and she wanted us to raise him and she was in tears. She said she had no other options or backup plans and begged us not to abandon her and the baby. I called her back and reassured her we would pay for the paternity test, and if she knew anyone else who could be the father she would have to speak up. She is firm that this guy is the father.

I was okay with this so far, actually laughing thinking just more insanity. But David and I have always had an inkling that the guy we met in Nashville was not actually the dad. They were very chummy together, much more so than they should have been. Also, the forms she filled out at the lawyer's said pbdad was 6' tall, and this guy was no taller than my 5'6". Then the lawyer called me back, and explained everything that had gone on. We got to the physical description of the guy she met, and lo and behold - he was very very tall and skinny, and had totally different hair than the guy we met. Clearly not the same person.

So we seem to have caught M in a very huge, bold-faced lie. I don't know why she would have someone else pretend to be the father and meet us. How horrible is that? We called M together and asked her what was going on, and she also maintained her story, and didn't seem to me like she was lying. I said we could solve it all by getting a photo of pbdad, and she didn't seem bothered by that. She also said that she would be "stuck" with this baby, "with nothing to show for it" if he wouldn't sign, and she repeated that she intended to place him.

It is so hard to fathom walking away when we are only 27 days away from the due date. And kind people that we are, we feel horrible about leaving her cold with no money, knowing she has two children at home. I asked the lawyer if we should walk away, or if this were salvageable, and she thinks it's salvageable. The social worker thinks M is going to place, but doesn't know about this latest turn (I've left her a message). My facilitator and several other wise people think this is a last straw and we should walk away. Our gut feeling is that M wants to place this baby, and we are afraid of what might happen if we walk away. And we just can't make the decision, it is too hard and too emotional. All we can do is listen to our guts at this point.

We called a PI this morning, and he's going to see about obtaining a photo of pbdad. That will solve everything - if it's the guy we met, then we're good to go; if not, we will walk away.

Do you think this could get any crazier or more stressful? Oy vey.