"Real" kids and other thoughts on PRIDE
Class was really long last night, 4 hours that was mostly lecture. We did some role-playing where we had to be the parent and it was hard. At the end we had to learn about physical restraint, but David and I think we can take a 6-week old if he gets uppity, no problem. Fortunately the Baptist minister's wife kept her mouth shut most of the time, but tonight is on sexual abuse and that's her prime concern, so I'm sure she'll have loads to say.
I have to say, it really pisses me off in the class when people keep talking about interactions between the foster kids and their "real" kids (most of them already have bio children).
I found this quote:
Natural child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your own child: Any child who is yours to love.
An adopted child is a natural child with real parents who is loved.
Copyright © 1985 and 2005 by Rita Laws, Ph.D.
The classes can be kind of emotional and bring out a lot of stuff to think about and my mind just races, and I can't turn it off. I'm having trouble sleeping this week. Poor David got reminded of some bad childhood shit from yesterday's class and was really upset. They ask a lot of questions in the homework about how we were parented, and his mom takes the prize for emotional abuse. He is terrified of parenting for that reason. I have to admit it scares me a little too, but I think that since he is so aware of bad things that happened to him, hopefully he'll try extra hard to not pass that same abuse on to his children.
posted by Mel @ 9:31 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
My husband has similar issues. Before he became a dad, I pointed out to him that he had a chance to be the kind of parent he wished he had. I told him when a situation came up to think about how he would have wanted his dad to have treated him. Sometimes I have to remind him, but 99% of the time he is relaxed and a great dad. Maybe the same advice would work for David.
That's what I keep telling him, that he should be really aware of the things that bothered him as a kid and that he can rise above them and choose to treat his children differently. He is worried that he is too damaged to do a good job. But I think your advice is very sound and we will follow it!
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