This particular ride is over

I have decided not to update this blog any longer, since it was our adoption journey. I plan to print out the entries and comments and save them for Benjamin. We started a new blog for him, which you can find here if you want to see updated photos, blog entries, and videos.

Thank you to everyone who supported us on the adoption rollercoaster. It was a much more fun ride than the IF one!

It's almost snipping time

Benjamin is going to have his bris in just over a week, on October 22nd. I'm sure he's not too thrilled about having the end of his penis snipped off, but what can I do? My whole family is coming in and I'm very excited. And the ladies at shul are throwing me a baby shower the day before, when my family is here. I think it'll be a fun weekend. We met the mohel the other day and his hands shake terribly though, but I think (and hope!) the clamp method is pretty foolproof. At least the little guy gets some local anesthesia and some yummy Manischewitz.

Benjamin weighs around 10 lbs now, and has his next doctor's appointment on the 24th, right after his bris. He's starting to sleep 3.5 - 4 hours at night now, which makes me very happy. He's eating about 4 oz at a feeding right now and is a good eater. He's awake a lot more in the daytime and loves to look around, especially at the ceiling fans. And I think he may have smiled at me for real a couple of times now! He's still a very sweet and good-natured baby, and his pooping seems more regular now so he's less unhappy.

Sadly, we found out the Montessori school we want to use doesn't have an opening until the end of February, so we have to figure out childcare for two months. I wish I could just stay off, but I'm not sure that work would allow it. We'll see. We are going to visit the school tomorrow to see if we like it. I hope they will be amenable to cloth diapering! Cloth diapering is going very well, we are using Fuzzi Bunz and they have the Nana and daddy seal of approval for ease of use. I just do a load once a day, no biggie.

I put a link to Benjamin's online photo album under "links" so you can always see photos! I add to it fairly regularly. We're also going to a photo studio today for a consult appointment, and will get some professional family photos done. I also want them to do one of him in his bris gown that I had made.

Finalization day!!

I'm sorry to be such a bad blogger, but it's so hard when you have a baby who wants to be held all the time. I don't mind at all, but it's hard to get to email and blogging and all that. I'll try to be better!

We finalized Benjamin's adoption today. Did I mention how much I love Kansas law? He is legally ours. We wait about 4-6 weeks to get an application for his birth certificate, and then file for it. We'll get that and his adoption decree and then file for a SSN for him. We have our one post-placement visit next week, which only needs to be filed with the ICPC office. But it's all done, and he is our son. I can't believe it.

He had his two-week checkup when we got back and is all healthy. He had gained 7 oz from birth, and is now, at five weeks, up to about 9.5 lbs. He's a happy sweet baby and we are so blessed. He's sleeping 2-3 hours at night, and moving towards longer stretches which will make his mommy happy. My mom visited last weekend and had a wonderful time meeting her grandson. The rest of the family will meet him in late October when we have his bris.

Here's my new favorite photo. He loves having a bath!

We're home!

We are happy to have returned to Texas last Friday! We were out eating lunch, and our lawyer called and said we could go home if we could find an agency in Texas willing to do our post-placement visits. We called our Texas lawyer and got a name, they agreed, and we packed like mad people and got a flight home Friday night. Benjamin was a trooper on the plane, and is happy to be home.

Our dogs are doing great with him, they're very sweet and gentle and like to lick his toes. He goes for his first pediatrician appointment tomorrow, so I'll update with his new stats.

You know you want some pictures!

I am overwhelmed at the sweet comments and thank you all for being so supportive and wonderful during this process. Benjamin is an amazing baby so far, very sweet and easy going. He loves being held and hanging out in his sling, and he's sleeping in 3-hour stretches and eating like a champ. We have cleared Interstate Compact in Kansas and are just waiting for Texas to do their part so we can come home. Our lawyer thinks that it will probably extend after the Labor Day holiday, but we're enjoying this bonding time with him. We're staying in an extended-stay hotel and the staff has been wonderful. Wichita is actually a beautiful city and the weather is so lovely here. Can you believe we ate outside last night?

OK, now on to some pictures!



This is the first night we met him. Forgive how exhausted I look, we had been on the road for 12 hours at this point.









Here's our sweet boy!

You won't believe the insanity!

We got a call on Thursday to see if we wanted to head to Las Vegas and meet a couple who had a baby boy, and thought they wanted to place him for adoption. They weren't 100% of placing, but wanted to meet us after we spoke on the phone. We busted our tushes on Friday morning getting ready to leave and caught a flight, expecting to meet them when we arrived. Well, they panicked and changed their minds, and after taking a little profit from the Sahara casino, we decided to head home on Saturday.

We were in the shuttle from the rental car lot to the airport, feeling sad and dejected, and got a call from my facilitator, asking if we'd like to be presented for another baby that had been born on Thursday in Kansas. We parked ourselves at the airport, waiting for our profile to be viewed, and then amazingly got a call that we had been chosen! We rebooked our flight and flew into Tulsa, OK and then drove up to Kansas, and arrived late last night. We got to meet our son at around midnight last night, and roomed at the hospital.

This morning we met the birth mom and her grandparents, who are her guardians. She is very tall and sweet and lovely and it was a good meeting. Very bittersweet, to balance their sadness against our happiness, but it went well. We will maintain contact at least with letters and photos. The baby is just gorgeous! Oh yeah, and it's a boy. 6 lbs and 11 oz, and 18 inches long. I think he will end up with his birth mother's height, judging from his feet!

What craziness, huh? I can't believe I'm typing with a sweet baby in my arms, after all this.

PS - nobody has heard from M since we called our agency and attorney last week and told them that we had to cut her off. I feel some remorse over what will happen to Bubba, and I still hope and pray fervently that he will end up with a better life than her for a mother.

A letter to M

Dear M,

We were very saddened and hurt when we spoke with our lawyer and learned that you admitted to her that you lied to us. When we gave you an opportunity to tell us the truth, you lied to us again. We feel that we have been very patient and understanding during our entire relationship together, and that you have done nothing but abuse our kindness and generosity. In light of recent events, we have decided that we can no longer continue to support you financially. We are not even sure if you ever intended to place this baby for adoption or whether the whole thing was just a ploy for money. However, should you give birth to this baby and you genuinely want to place him, we are here to uphold our end of the commitment we made to you. We already love this baby and we want to raise him and to be his parents.

From what you have said, you do not want this baby and cannot raise him. If this is the truth, we hope that you will think seriously about placing him, and that you will call us when you give birth. We will be there for him.

David and Melissa